-+Sentiments+-*

Totally slept today off.

Didn't go movie-ing or shopping or talk cock sing song with friends.

Pathetic
==================

I realise that many people are not feeling that good emotionally. There's only one who is stressing over studies that much ( you know who you are hehehe). The rest are just trying to find their way to the truth of their hearts.

My truth.

Their minds will most likely be filled with "what if's" and "if only-s" as is mine.

Bliss?

The process is hard but the consequence seems to good to pass up.

If only our feelings are reciprocated...

So touched when i saw this.

Gotta love the song. Almost sang it during CCC's ICE event.
--
I will follow you
Follow you wherever you may go
There isn't an ocean too deep
A mountain so high it can keep me away
--
That goes for all of you.

9.20PM
31 August 2007

Haiiii Why i so stupid??

 

More like kwai lan.

 

I always go for those things which are seemingly beyond me.

 

Seemingly.

 

Because of that I try. I disappoint myself.

 

But its all worthwhile.

 

That's why, I'll definitely make it work.

 

lolz

 

1.06PM

31 August 2007

The P had a panel discussion in the school with his fellow panelists The President of the Student Council and the VP.

They should have known that setting up a panel discussion in SRJC is totally hopeless. SRJCians will NEVER have the guts to stand up and speak in front of the whole cohort. TRUE SRJCians, however, are the ones who stand up and speak, without fear of the P, VP, teachers and the whole JC1 student body.

But there is only  few such persons (including me of course!) who are willing to risk their oh-so-precious face for the school.

I found it weird because the first one who actually walks up to the microphone is always regarded as a "hero". For a very brief moment, but a hero nonetheless.

About the questions asked by the students.... Well.... What can I say? They're SRJCians after all (me obviously included too). The questions they asked were slightly different but the P's reply to those were pretty much the same. So the P was basically repeating the same shit over and over again.

I had this urge to ask questions too, an urge to go up to the microphone and shoot them until they buay tahan. But too bad, my anger has died down long ago. The change that i hoped to see did happen and ,frankly speaking, i am appeased. That's why even though all i wanted at that time was to go up to the mic and start shooting people, I just didn't have the content.

It'd have been interesting for me to converse with the P once more in front of the whole cohort.

*Starts building castles in the sky*
Me: Hi sir, remember me?
P:...................... No?
Me: Well then, you can just call me tonight
P: Alright Tonight, I'll do just that. Next please.
*Slaps self and wakes up*

========================

After the chemistry remedial lessons, Woody, Wan Chin, Calvin, Gershwin, Wei Squared and I went for bubble tea!

After we bought the tea we went to a corner (which is opposite the entrance of the kindergarten) of that block and gossiped for like one hour!

Talked about someone's gross unshaved horrendous underarms, gossiped about the people in class and got different views from people about it, cat poop, durian iceblend and best of all, sex.

LOL you just can't judge these people by their covers

So, so horny......

11.08PM
28th August 2007

And the feeling I had is definitive of the feelings i hold

At that moment, it felt like pure bliss. I was smiling so hard, think i could have went a full circle.

My smile wasn't from the "brain" nor the "heart".

It was from my soul (if i do have one)

Happiness, fleeting feelings, anything you can ever think of.

BUT

I guess Sheena was right.

They're gone, no where to be found. No calls no message.

As if she just disappeared....

I... I guess....... I guess this dream IS a dream and will STAY a dream

*sniffs* *rubs eyes* *looks away*

Heaven seems so far away....... so out of reach.

Is it a such sin to want to get a glimpse that God doesn't approve every single attempt i make?

Then again, it'll be hypocritical of me to blame the "God" character when i'm not a believer myself.

Thats why........ its me who's lost...

7.31PM
26th August 2007

This time.... its so much different.

Familiar Dress
Familiar Grace
Familiar Strength
Familiar Face
Familiar Actions
Familiar Movements
Familiar Body
Familiar Aura
Familiar Presence.

A Familiar You.

===========================

This time round, it'll work.
I'll make it work.
No matter how long it takes.
Its not fake.
The Mo4 Qi4
The Fun
The Sight.

Kindred Spirits?
Or Lost Souls?

I'll find out.

9.32AM
26th August 2007

Hadn't felt this good since like ever.

The start of the day was great! Went for PE, did star-jumps. Feeling very sore now but it was still worth the effort. Had Math after that and this relief teacher came in. Very nice teacher filled with energy.

Had GP essay test! Its very "sianz" when you start the test as there's like so many things to write about and you just dont have enough time. But after you finish writing, its really very satisfying.

Guess I love writing.

CCC

Had fun hosting the event with Joanna. Its called Inspiring Champions Extravaganza, meant to get the entire CCC together to share their experiences through this year and there were many eye-opening things that we found out!

The weird thing about this was that I did not feel any nervousness nor was afraid of holding up the microphone, facing around 80 people in the LT when I shivered as if i was in the Arctic during Oral Presentation to my class of 18. Funny isn't it? Maybe my heck-care attitude towards CCC was what braced me. Not caring what the people of CCC might think of me, i went on with my work and i think i did an average job only.

Even though people were saying "good job" and gave all the encouragement, i know that there just wasn't enough energy put into the event.

I can't "self-high" that well okay?

Always shut myself out to the world whenever I'm alone or with another person. Only when the group is three or more will i start to gain momentum to be the best that i am.

High Activation Energy know?

10PM
24th August 2007

Familiar Dress
Familiar Grace
Familiar Strength
Not-So Familiar Face
-------------------------------------
I've already forgotten her face already. Should try to catch up some times.

Wait. No. I already tried,

6.17PM
23rd August 2007

Remember that explosion? Remember the plane? The one in Japan? The one from a Taiwanese company? The one where the pilot actually ensured that all of his crew and passengers had a safe passage out of the burning flames before he had jumped the cockpit with only a rope that may have gave way?

Now thats a hero.

There's a fine line between a tragic accident and an experience of a lifetime. In this case, where all was alive even though some were injured; where the plane had ignited on the ground instead of mid-air; where no passenger nor crew's family had to grief, I bet it was the best day of the pilot's life.

*salutes*

7.00PM
22nd August 2007

haiiya....

People nowsadays aren't really good people. Remember the old saying of "do to others what you want done to yourself"?

I'm not talking about revenge or hurt or bad things or anything negative. What i want to perspectivise(?) the good side of the quote.

People nowadays do not reciprocate the feelings of others. This is definitely not talking about Boy-Girl Relationships if you are too in-love to objectivise(?) here.

Its about the good things that we do for others. In our everyday lives, some people treat each other good and some treat each other bad. Some of them truly deserve it but ,of course, there are those who do not.

For an example, when we find our friends doing things that they dislike or are in situations that they do not want to be in, we look for them to keep them company. Yet what do we get in return? A face so foul that even skunks will shun it.

Why is it so? How can it be that your trueness to friendship can so easily be denounced by another? In my mind, it is simply illogical and if you say that it is only "in my mind" and that I'm just being over-sensitive, then give me a good justification of how and why it is even humane to do so.

Can you? huh? I can't hear you. Stop murmuring to yourself.

Another thing that has been on my mind quite sometime now is that you "do onto others what you what done unto yourself" yet why is it that only the bad things get reciprocated but the good things just goes away? Why are good deeds always so unappreciated? Why is it that no one in this world is saint enough to do so? Not even myself to add to that.

Is it because my efforts are too subtle that they can't tell? Is it because they just don't like my pink braces?

Maybe I'm just a loser that isn't worth their respect?

These are the questions that I ask myself every day and every night but the conclusion to it is still being ever-elusive.
Obviously that something is wrong here and we can't really look at others to solve our troubles. We can only blame ourselves and find the answers within us.
Hope that one day, I can find an answer to that and change.

Oh by the way, if you happen to have the answers must tell me hor?
====================
Finally a post with considerable length with a weird ending. Not really in the mood to write one these days.

10.17PM
18th August

haiiii

Its always me.....

Want to see you but can't

Want to be there for you but can't

Even just to be with you but can't.............................

The maximum that I can do now is the minimum that I should be done.
=========================================

Why?

8.17PM
17th August 2007