About the Poly-JC thing. Think i got it sorted out.
Five Words:I WANT TO GROW UP
I feel that if i continue in JC... i'll end like a small kid, someone who knows nothing about the world... even if i make it to university.
A disabled frog in a deep well.
I dont just want to study and study and study. I want to do things. I want to be able to build something up with my own two hands and i just can't see that in JC. Even if i make it to uni, i do not think i'll be much different than what i am now(which is not enough).
I will not be treated like a fool.
i will not be taken lightly.
My eyes will open.
All the reasons, such as not interested, never do work, immature environment or no sense of belonging are just secondary just reasons for me to exit JC and not reasons to enter Poly.
Feel that Poly will change me, change me from a hapless child into a real person.
Wanna go out there into the field, into the real world. To whack or to be whacked by others. To prove my worth in society.
That way life may be more interesting than just books and grades.
Some people questioned my initial choice to enter JC. My answer to that would be because, like the kid i am, i wanted to stay with new found friends, didn't want to change environment, didn't think for myself.
I'm always thinking for others, never for myself. If i caused someone to be in trouble i'll really feel guilty about it. If something benefits others i will do it. All to make them happy.
But now i'm beginning to think for myself.
Even if, by leaving JC, i have to leave my closest buddies and bestest friends, even though both parties will be hurt, I will do it.
This is the path that i choose and yet my feet shakes, my arms weaken, my heart uncertain.
That is the first step that i must take.
To overcome the fear....... to brace [Braces Gang!! =)] myself for whatever lies ahead.
....................I will grow up.......................
4.35pm
2nd June 2007
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